Y’all, this week has been HEAVY for me. For real. Shame triggers have been pulled, self doubt has shown up in a big way, and somewhere, somehow, I got a little bit lost in the darkness.
Which is awesome! And difficult.
I tried a few times to write about the heaviness and muck that I’ve been sorting through but nothing was resonating. Even right now, my writing feels awkward and choppy. Thank goodness I know it isn’t about being the best writer or the most insightful person, it’s just about showing up. It’s about showing up day after day, even when it’s difficult, especially when it’s difficult, and doing my work.
So, this morning, with my sliding glass door open, cool morning air wafting into my space and over my bare feet, sunlight streaming through the trees (seriously Sacramento, could you be any more beautiful?), I am choosing to lighten up. AND I’m playing hooky from class, which feels awesome 🙂
Life is just a game after all, and the world one big, beautiful playground. The games we play, and HOW we play, is entirely up to us. Sure, get dark. Be IN the darkness, SEE the darkness, but don’t get LOST in the darkness and don’t beCOME the darkness. (Speaking to myself here).
We are here to do the best we can, to learn from those who are doing better, and to have as much fun as possible. The challenges will continue to present themselves. We can count on this. The more we stretch ourselves beyond what is comfortable, the more we reach for big dreams, purpose, passion, and fulfillment, the more we will come into contact with EVERYTHING that wants to hold us back. Go through that density, for sure, get deep into your stuff, FEEL it, SEE it, and then let that shit go.
And stop caring what other people think! Seriously, this is SO huge and SO simple at the same time. As a people pleaser and a child who did well in school, this is a constant life lesson for me. I want to please and impress, I want to be liked and needed. Don’t we all? 🤦♀️
The work is to keep our heads held high no matter what. Stay true to our amazing selves, own our mistakes, and push through our self doubt. What other people think of us is none of our business (and the reality is that other people are too busy thinking about themselves to be thinking about anyone else).
Now more than ever, we have to own our stories and we have to LIGHTEN UP ✨Remember, we are HUMAN. We need to outside, to play around, to climb trees, and to jump into rivers. We must prioritize laughter and dancing, friendships, good food, making love, lots of exercise, playfulness, creativity, and adventure. Make space for JOY and trust that your life will transform in big, beautiful ways.
Because life is amazing. There is MAGIC everywhere and if you look for it, you will find it. Buckle up, enjoy the ride, and remember to soak in as much light as you do dark. The rest will come. The rest is HERE. This journey, this GROWTH, this healing, it’s only just begun. We might as well enjoy the ride ✨