I’ll be honest with you, I didn’t want to write today. Actually, it’s a present tense thing so I’ll correct that. I don’t want to write today.
Yesterday, I gave myself the day off from this blog because I had a big university placement exam at 8am and getting up at 5am in order to write a blog post would have added stress to my morning and taken away sleep from my night, both of which were things I didn’t want. And I’m totally ok with this decision.
But, I also slept in today. I went to a swing dance event late last night, I started my moon cycle, (sorry not sorry if that’s too much for some of you), and I was absolutely exhausted when my alarm went off this morning. I turned it off, slept for a few more hours, and when I woke up, I drank my bulletproof coffee and caught up on my favorite show, happy as could be. OMG. I know. Ridiculous.
But also, just another part of the human experience and I am so not judging myself for this. Hey, it’s Sunday… right?
Well, yes and no. It is Sunday. But it’s also just another day that I am alive and get to CHOOSE whether or not to show up. So, here I am, showing up. Even though I am out of whack. Even though my morning routine fell apart two days in a row. Even though I was slipping off the bandwagon and it would have been the easiest thing in the world to just let go.
So, instead of seeing this as a failure, I am using this as an opportunity for growth. Do I feel RESISTANCE to writing today? YES. Then I know I need to do it. I also know that momentum can work just as easily for me as it can against me. If I go two days in a row of not writing, it will be even more difficult to begin again tomorrow. But if I write today, then tomorrow will also be that much easier.
Seen from this angle, the decision was easy. I’m writing today, I’m doing my work. I’m embracing myself exactly as I am, where I am. I’m celebrating myself, my strength and my determination, my weaknesses and my failures. I am proud of myself and I am proud of the work I am doing.
Y’all, remember, every day is going to be different. That’s a given. But what’s also a given, is that if you don’t SHOW UP, you won’t even be there. So please, KEEP SHOWING UP. Whatever it is, whatever you want, whatever work you are doing, don’t stop. Don’t let life get in the way of your life. Jump back on that bandwagon before it gets too far away.
Because showing up feels amazing. Yes, it is difficult and we will struggle and sometimes we will fall, that is inevitable. But getting back up is part of the process and it is SO worth the work. And honestly, what the hell else is the point?
(I wanted a photo of a departing train here, but this is all I could find. You get the point).